Work Woes: Why is the Workplace so Hard for Highly Sensitive People? And what to do to help yourself at work.
You know you are exceptional at your job. You know you get it in a way that others don’t seem to (not that you would ever say that out loud…). You see the detail, the nuance. You know what needs to happen.
And yet- work is one of the primary struggles in your life. You may dread going into the office or starting the work week. You just don’t get how others seem to navigate this space with such ease and energy.
It’s confusing to experience being so good at something and yet feel like you are somehow not able to do it.
Sound like you? This dynamic is all too familiar for highly sensitive people trying to navigate existing in the workforce.
What’s happening? High sensitivity at work.
You might be good at your job because you’re an HSP. And you might struggle so much because- wait for it- you’re an HSP. Correction- you might struggle because you’re an HSP AND your job wasn’t built for your needs.
Highly sensitive systems simply don’t have the same kind of filter as other systems. They take it all in at a high level of intensity. Including the tricky parts of work like analyzing the tone of an email, managing the pressure of a tight deadline, seeing the implications of a budget cut, feeling the emotions of others in the office or just generally being intensely aware of social justice issues at work or the impact of capitalism itself. Processing this all can be a lot. Throw in some buzzing overhead lights, a rush hour commute and an office-space that’s way too cold with no windows, and it seems only logical that a sensitive system could get overwhelmed. Along with this, sensitive systems need more time to process and it can feel horribly misaligned when this isn’t offered in current pace of work.
This same ability to pick up on subtleties that can overwhelm, also is what can set highly sensitive folks apart as employees and leaders.
The struggle and the superpower.
In her book “The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person”, Amanda Cassil lists some potential “workplace superpowers” of highly sensitive people including: “spotting and fixing mistakes…recognizing trends in the field…attention to fine detail…anticipating needs of clients or bosses”.
Harvard Business Review’s article around high sensitivity and work cited research noting that highly sensitive people were simultaneously rated the best performers by managers and simultaneously reported the most stress.
This points to the incredible capacity we have as highly sensitive people! It also points to the importance of knowing our needs in order to sustain and support this capacity. Otherwise, we’re great at a job that we burnout from. We’re great at a job that we feel no choice but to leave.
What can highly sensitive folks navigating workplace woes do then?
There are certainly too many strategies and approached to navigating work as a highly sensitive person to put in one blog post. Here are three that could be a good place to start:
Communicate your needs- to yourself
Getting to know what works for your system is the first step in showing up for ourselves in meeting those needs. Sometimes we have parts of us that tell us we “shouldn’t” need certain things or tell us we’re “too much” if we have needs that might be different from others. See if those parts of you can give you enough space to notice what those needs even are- just to name them. Therapy can be another great tool to explore your needs and parts of yourself holding any shame or self-criticism.
For me, these are a few examples of what my system needs (and maybe you will see yourself in some of these too):
Natural light and nature time built into my day
Time to think intentionally before tough conversations or decisions
Ability to wear clothes that are comfortable for my body and don’t have sensory triggers (no thanks stiff suit, tight pants or scratchy sweaters).
Space where I can work alone on certain projects
Clarity around my role, my responsibilities and what others need from me
Openness and a sense of safety in being able to bring concerns forward
Lamps! Lamps! Lamps!
Time to reflect after implementing something new.
Opportunities to get to know my team as people not just roles.
An actual lunch break. Like, with food. Not at my desk.
Heavier work morning, lighter work evenings.
There’s such a potential liberation is knowing that it makes sense to be struggling if your needs are simply not being met. And in getting to have the opportunity to advocate for the best you to be present in your work.
Communicate your needs- to your employer (maybe)
There are very real reasons as to why it may not always be possible to communicate your needs or make requests of your employers. You know your situation best. It is worth asking, “Is it uncomfortable to ask for changes? Or is it unsafe?” This question might guide your next steps.
If you cannot communicate or advocate for your needs to your employer- Now that you know them, there might be some shifts you can make yourself to support your needs at work. If not (or not enough), it also is reasonable to consider if there are other positions that would better fit your needs (including of course your financial needs or stability needs).
PS There is a reason so many highly sensitive people are self-employed. But that’s a topic and a blog post for another time!
If you can communicate your needs- It might be worth trying! It can sometimes be easier to think about having these conversations from a lens of communicating what would help you bring your best self to work. What would enable you to shine as an employee and would help you to feel present and engaged. What would sustain your superpowers. Gentle reminder that even if you are framing conversations this way to navigate requests, you are so much more than your productivity and contributions to capitalism.
Create safety and comfort in your day
Just like our sensitivity can take in all the stressful parts of our day in detail, it can also take in the beautiful, soft, micro moments of safety in detail for us too. There may be a lot of the stressful parts of work that we can’t get rid of, so instead we can see if it’s possible to add in safety and comfort as well. See if there are small ways to do this (that will be unique to your system). This could look like so many things! Here were a few of my favourites when navigating the highly sensitive workplace woes:
Having pictures of loved ones in your workspace
Taking your breaks and getting out of the office (even if just walking around the block or sitting in the car)
Bringing in plants
Having some kind of representation of what gives my work meaning on your desk (a quote, a mission statement, a picture/vision board representing what’s next, a picture from a vacation).
Building time into your day to be with people who get you
You aren’t doing this wrong. Your needs are valid.
TLDR- You are not alone in finding work hard. There is something wrong with a system that does not meet the needs of its employees to support them in thriving (as professionals and people)- there is not something wrong with having needs. Your sensitivity can be a superpower at work and you are enough exactly as you are.
